Young men get a bad rap for being creepy.
It’s true of course.
But it misses the point.
We’re all pretty damn creepy.
Including the women accusing men of it.
What is creepy?
We’ll answer that in a sec.
In 2008, I was at a bar with a friend. We were out on the patio, and we were out of smokes. We saw a girl smoking, and asked her if we could bum a cigarette. She gave us a smoke, then gave us a look, and walked away as if she was avoiding lepers. I was a bit drunk, and now we had a cigarette… so we enjoyed the smoke and I didn’t think about it for the rest of the night.
But the next day, it bugged me.
I was trying to figure out what disgusted her so much. I still can’t be sure. But I know why I was mulling it over. I felt like crap. Why did I put myself in that position? Either cigarettes were important, and I should bring enough… or they weren’t important, and I shouldn’t be begging for them.
When you know you could have done better but you didn’t, you feel like trash.
When other people are involved, it will feel worse.
And no matter how weak and creepy they are… they will look down on you for it.
Creepiness is neediness.
Creepiness is weakness.
Creepiness is knowing you could have handled business, but you didn’t.
When you sense it in yourself… they will sense it in you as well.
Ideally, you get to the point where you don’t need anyone. You can still enjoy them… but you don’t need them.
This is an ideal I don’t expect any of us to reach. But each step you take in that direction makes you a little stronger.
Spend some time thinking about where you’re needy… and how you can begin to let that go.
Do this, and you will begin to put an end to the creepiness in your life.